Taking Stock

2007 has been one of the shortest year i ever had.

probably due to the hectic every day routine of work, work and more work, time passed very quickly.

nevertheless, i am glad i made time for val this year as i feel that it is something i owe her and i have been wanting to do it for a long time and i had told her i would dedicate 2006 for her but that year, my dad was sick and i didn't give her much time at all. i said i owe her because i for one had been such a hard nut to crack, it takes countless extension before i would even consider opening up for someone and she was there all the time since 1992/3 but i didn't give a chance. i didn't give anyone a chance or perhaps i had not given myself a chance. the thing about her is that she is not the kind that is "in your face" pushy person. pushy people pushes me away from them and i hate pushy people because my personal space is very important to me. this may sound egoistical but there is nothing wrong about not wanting to befriend just anybody who is nice to you. we are all made differently and i am just not an extrovert like many think i am.

so anyway, i must tell you one guilty thing i did to her. there was once one very very very long time ago when we were in pre-u. the year was 1993 i think. my gosh, i have to let go of this episode that i still remember. ok, it was one hot afternoon and as usual, every student made their way home after school. val and i sometimes take the same bus or so i think and i skipped along after boarding the bus and moved to the back, hoping that she didn't see me so that i don't have to make conversation. this is really not something you would do to someone who is fine and counts you as a friend. like i said, there is nothing wrong with her and she doesn't know about this episode but i remember this as one guilty episode in our friendship. i hope i can say i don't know what's the matter with me but i can't because i do know what's the matter with me. in my early life, i was in distress. emotional distress, and i didn't cope well with relationships because i kind of gave up on anything that remotely resembled love. like the time when i was ten, my uncle gave up two of his dogs- curly and honey, because he was getting married and his wife was afraid of dogs. we (my cousins & i) we lived under one roof and we were very attached to those dogs and the parting was like tearing our poor hearts out, shreadding. i guess in asian culture, the adults just do what they do and they kind of don't talk so much about the effects of their actions especially when it comes to emotional stuff. so anyway, no adults comforted us or briefed us about this kind of pain and it was damaging, at least for me because the pain still stings when i recall about it. so anyway, my cousins and i cried in silence separately and we never once talked about it or cried together. i remember very clearly that i told myself, if at the end of it, it is separation no matter what, then it should never have began. i tell you, i think i was psycho since five because i saw things in-depth, internalise my thoughts and formed my modus-operada on my own. there was kind of no "positive" guidance because i was a child caught in between the lives of many people who were just going through adolescece and young adult lives and they had their lives to bother about and i was stuck between their lives. so anyway, i was saying, i had told myself that if something (relationship) is not going to last for long, don't bother to start it. this means that when i made friends, i expected it to last, expected it to live to my expectations and i would hardly start one because i felt that all good things would come to an end somehow. so anyway, it took me another fifteen years before i finally do away with that negative notion and began to let people into my heart. you know, perhaps it was the pain of separation that has a nerve so deep and i was just being very protective of my broken heart. of course it was more that the dogs epsiode that gave me so much heartache but nevertheless, i am grateful for those learnings because i can now fully appreciate life. it does not have to last forever, i now know that even a slight concern or care for someone goes a long way and it does not have to be forever to live forever. i also realise that sometimes, some people are in your live at a certain stage for a number of years. some of our thoughts, views, hobbies, lifestyles, beliefs, change and we do not connect like before. and that's ok. that's ok. hence, i have learnt that if a certain person or friend is in my life at whatever stage of my life, i always treasure the "now" and make the best of it. because the only time that everyone has is literally now. like i always tell adeline, when fate changes, you will not get a minute more no matter how much you yearn. but as long as it lasts, make the best of it. with love.

so anyway, i have deviated from my topic.

i was gonna tell you, you know, every year end, bren and i do our "retreat". we used to book a local hotel, most of the time the Gallery Hotel, every year end since year 2001 after we took a workshop together that had a great impact on our lives. I took one aspect of the workshop and re-modeled it to suit our context and have used to take stock of our lives on a yearly basis. actually, last year, i further modeled it to a quarterly review programme but never got round to do it even till now.

i would draw a pie chart with eight slices - Body (physical & health), Mind (personal development, reading, intellect), Soul (spiritual growth), Family, Finance (money & investment), Career, Relationships (extended family & friends), Society (social contibutions). it is not a linear chart because all sectors are important and we should have them as balanced as possible. extereme excess or deficit in any sector is unhealthy. I would then grade myself on a scale of one to ten, how i think i have fared for the year. we would substaintiate with examples and present our case to each other. we would then exchange our score cards and grade each other honestly. then, we would review each other, saying where we did well and what we had neglected or where to buck up etc. lastly, we would plan for the new year ahead. set our goals, take special care on those areas that we had neglected the year before. we will then do a meditation and write down those things that are holding us back, fear, etc. or any problems we want to resolve. then we will burn that little piece of note as a symbolic gesture that it will be resolved. lastly again, we would take a symbolic "golden bath", a slow bath in the tub with candles all around the tub to create a golden glow and lights out. this is like divine glow that would dismiss negativity in us and empower us with strength and protection anew. we did this self-designed programme every year but i am not sure if we are still gonna do it this year. kind of lost a bit of steam after 6 years. but i still think that it is an excellent programme, especially for couples to do it together. you actually will discover more about each other, no matter how you think you know your partner. but please, do really be non-judgemental and do not critise your partner's goals or inspirations. it is important that you do not sway your partner's ideals to your fancy and stay true to the programme. because growth does not come with getting everything your way. i hope you know what i mean.

so, my dear friends. the year is coming to an end.

take stock and count your blessings.

love,

me.




after thought: i think i should make an effort to do our retreat because i just remembered what the tutor said. he says it is not enough to just want goodness, happiness, etc. these are vague and every one wants it generally.
he said that if we live our lives vaguely, we are merely existing.
merely existing on the surface of the earth. breathing and living but we are not living a meaningful life and will never know its magnificence.

Peacock Dress

For heaven's sake, i couldn't smile a nice smile.
i can never do it naturally in a controlled pose.
so please pardon me, i am only showing the dress.

As promised, here's the Peacock Dress.

I received many compliments with this.
The most exagerrating one would be my accountant colleague went up behind me to flip over the collar checking out the brand. other comments like I look slimer in this, or i have assets to fill up the front, etc, etc. well, i alternate between being the worst and best dresser sometimes and it is really not important to me. As long as it satisfies me, well, I'm just me!

Going To KL

bren's friend had invited us to KL for a party or parties as partying is their lifestyle. i have retired from the party scene but make an occassional cameo once in a blue moon.
if not for val, i probably wouldn't make the trip. anyway, it was really difficult to get the coach tickets so last minute and we were lucky we managed to secure 3 return tickets for the year end period. so i'll be counting down to 2008 in malaysia. val's BD is 1st jan. i wonder how it feels to have BD on 1st jan. does it make it any more special?

Tattoo

you know, some of my friends said that im "full of rubbish" when i show them something amusing. but they keep coming back for more. i think they only say that because they are amused but they dont do things that i do. you will know that you affect each other when your husband becomes more game like you. look at bren's arm. it is tattooed! haha. no la, it is a stocking that has tattoo prints and you could just wear it on your arm or leg. from far, it looks really like the real thing and we had a good laugh. especially on bren, cos he looks really fierce and ganster-like. haha. you know, i always feel so lucky that i get to do so called rubbish things. it is fun and funny. in this aspect, i remind myself of my father. my father was like this too. we sometimes would buy or make gadgets that just add some amusement in our lives for a chuckle or two. i remembered when i was little, we had a black-and-white TV. my father bought those coloured-transparant sheets and tapped it all around the screen. Voola! we had "coloured" TV before anyone else had. ha ha.

Mini remote car

saturday 8th december

hadijah, the malay massue was supposed to come today at 2pm. she called at 2 to inform that her van broke down while she was on the way here and that she is not coming afterall. i dont believe the event but i didnt press on. if she doesnt really wanna come, im alright with it. of course i was a little annoyed because i had prepared the room and made her tea with honey. but nevertheless, i was not angry. angry was last evening at the service centre at sony-ericsson. i had argued with the counter girl and we both raised our voices. understandabily, i was frustrated because it was the third time visiting that place and to collect my phone for the third time. it didnt help that there wasnt any return call from the centre manager despite requests to speak to one for the past 5 days. plus, ying shan, my 5-day-old new colleague who gave me a lift to orchard was telling me how she gave up on them after her phone was serviced eight times but they couldnt solve the problem on the phone muting itself automatically. she has just bought the phone for two weeks when it gave her the problem. despite this, her next mobile phone is still from the same brand. had i not liked my phone, i would have forget about getting it fixed. but i feel that this is really not the way to do business. if a brand oversells and could not deliver in terms of its quality and after-sales service, it is asking for trouble. my colleagues who are nokia loyal user would tell me tongue in cheekily -- i told you to stick to nokia. it is funny how my brain has to learn, unlearn and relearn when i switch between my old motorola and the sony-ericssion, for a while, i couldnt compose my smses correctly because they key functions are opposites and i keep getting it wrong. the first few times when i was using the old phone was quite terrible. i had to do it slowly. makes me think if my brain cells has gotten old and taking a longer time to adapt. hence i feel that learning new things and skills are really important. look at such a small matter as efficiency in smsing. sometimes, i use my left hand to do task i normally do with the right, so that i could just employ some of those brain cells that are hardly used and to re-wire them so that my mind could be more agile. oh i forgot to tell you what we were arguing about. the counter girl said she has to make a photo copy of my ic because i am collecting the phone on behalf of my husband (he had sent in the phone for me). i said you can copy but i am not collecting the phone on his behalf because this is my phone and he had sent in on my behalf. she raised her voice, pointed to the document and emphasised you see HIISSSS NAME? HEEEE sent in the phone, YOOOOU are collecting on behalf. in a manner she was supressing her anger for me being stupid. I said to her, bringing up the document that has the record of purchase. this IIIIIISSS MMMYYY phone. HEEEEE sent in FOOOOOR me. IIIIIII am collecting MMMMYYYY phone. my face must have been red or black. she said she will have to make a photocopy of the ic and i said whatever just give me the damn phone. i left the place fuming mad for a whole ten minutes but i felt that they must be having a hard time being front line and it was just a matter of technicality. i was just angry because in service line, YOU DONT ARGUE WITH THE CUSTOMER. it is not as if i didnt allow her to copy the ic, it was just that i have a problem with the technicality of it being me collecting my phone on the behalf of someone else which is bullshit. went for a good shashimi but really shouldnt have, because no food will taste good when i am upset. walked along for a while before some good old shopping took my mind off it. i tell you, i am learning to know myself every time. hardly anything will stir me being angry but if it happens, i would really reflect upon it and learn from the episode. that's what growth is about. you know learn and reflect what was done and what could be better next time. i walked on to tangs and bought a dress that might as well be a peacock costume. it is in the print of green feathers and those uniquely red patterned that can only be from a peacock. a proud one flanging his glorious tail. it is really a very nice dress and i pondered about buying for a whole 10 minutes. normally a decision is made in 30 to 60 seconds so you see, i was seriously considering it. anyway, i had bought it and i must show you myself in it when i have the chance. every year my family has a christmas party and the hilights is the gift exchange. this tradition started in 1988 and it beagan with only eight people. that was before my aunts and uncles became christians and this year alone, two more families became christians. you know, when you face with some critical life and death incident, sometimes the change is 360 degree. that is what happened to aunt elsie. she had some unexplainable illness and was in the hospital for about 2 months. one of the week she almost died while in ICU. she is recovering well now and has since denounced her taoisim and become a christian. good that her sister lily could help her with the transistion. i am a buddhist whom other buddhists will have a problem with. i feel that i am living a life that is ever-dynamic, ever-living, ever-alive and life itself is not limit to any parimeters. anyway, i shall not touch on religion here and there is no need to explain. ok so where was i, ya the gift exchange. it started some 19 years ago and we have it every single year. i have been the chairman to moderate the picking of names where you buy a gift for. so anyway, this year, brendan and i will have to buy for my cousin yang and sis's BF tim. both guys. i have no problem buying for guys, while some of my aunts would ask me to switch the names if they are buying for guys because they said they dont know what to get for them. so anyway, i stayed at the stationary department for sooooo long. if must have been a whole hour at the stationary and toy section at isetan. can you believe it, i bought myself another toy. i couldnt help it! it is this tiny remote car from TOMY. look at the picture. i must illustrate to you how small the car is, it fits into a soup spoon. one thing i respect is the japanese. they are practically good at anything they set out to achieve. so anyway, i bought both tim and ah yang a set of mini remote control cars. you know, if they are stressed with studies or work, this tiny little thing could just bring some amusement and entertainment. and so this is my idea.

Pomp Pomp

one saturday

First December. Saturday.

for my BD treat, pamela treated me to an accu-pressure massage at holland village and a session of foot reflexology at the palour she has a package with. $300 for 12 sessions package. works out to be $25 per session. walk-in rate is $30 to $40 i think. anyway. that massue- james is good. i have not seen him since 1998. that is like eleven years ago. it is not fair that Men age at a slower pace than women. they dont loose as much "jing hua"/essense as women i guess. he could not recognise me, said that i must have aged beyond recognition. as for him, he is still as dashing as before. in fact, he looks better beefed up now than before when he was skinnier. in the past 12 years, he had married his Thai girlfriend, had 2 daughters and returned to singapore to work after being back home in malaysia for 8 years. he said i should not procrastinate too much about having children, and that there will always be a way out in any bad situation and that life will take care of itself. i was grateful that he could crack my back. you know, my lower back was so tight some massues have problem cracking but not james. perhaps it is also because he is a man and has more strength and im sure good techniques come with experience.

After massage we hopped on bus #7 to orchard wisma to collect my sony ericsson phone that was serviced for draining battery. i am frustrated to share with you that the phone is still faulty and i am questioning if they take their work seriously. finally lodged a complaint this morning and i shall see what happens next. anyway, we had a fabulous japanese meal,, sashimi, roe rice and king fish. i must say that i love japanese food very much but they are expensive. anyway, we had a good time and proceeded to DFS for some shopping. or window shopping. i am quite hard-to-please when it comes to handbags because i like my hands to be free, hence my limited choices are cross-body sling bags and haversack. and they must be small cos i am short and will look shorter carring a huge bag. plus, i like to pack light. my friend adeline carries gold in her bag. it has her favourite books, organiser, wallet and many other stuff she is fancing at the time. i always tell her to lighten up but she is used to it. anyway, men generally dont carry bags. they just have their wallet and keys. do you think they are more detached than women? emotionally detached. i think so. women tend to think that they would need more. you know, the tissue paper, the organiser, the lip balm, lipstick, blotter, brochures, bills, travel size perfumes, books, stationery. anyway, i only like cross-body sling bags cos i want my hands to be free. also signifies that freedom to me is very important. i have ordered 2 sling pouches from coach where my friend works. one for my sis and i am sure she will like it. it is a boring brown but it is basic and goes with any outfit albeit casual. i really was tempted to buy the omega or tag heuer watch, you know, they were going at 20% discount! but i had to remind myself about instant gratification. refrain, refrain! refrain from instant gratification i said in my head. i wont be wearing it day in day out, so will it justify? i just thought i should wait a while. maybe i should give myself a target. if i saved a certain amount of money in my bank, i can then reward myself with it. that sounds better.

i noticed pam had quite a nice diamond pendant on. i queried about it and she told me she had it custom made at her regular jeweler. coming from someone who could ratter off about the various grade of diamond and its cuts, i have to trust her knowledge about diamonds cos i dont know nuts about them expect that that are nice. she lets on that it was a steal for the amount she paid for because the jeweler is a family jeweler and her family is a regular for the past 30 yrs. i was excited at the notion where i could design my own pieces and spent the whole sunday afternoon sketching a few designs. i must tell you, i am happy with them and will make one soon! pam promised to bring me to her jeweler upon her return from melbourne end of this month. i can hardly wait. told my sis that when she is preparing for her wedding, we could have some personal designs if she wants. great idea. look out for my updates in the next 2 months. i hope to show you my maiden piece.

Queen Lisa

Lisarella

Avatar

Avatar - Lisa

look! this is how i think of myself.
honestly, i never did start out wanting to look this way.
it is funny how our unconscious mind works. especially through "play". i was told that during "play" our real self becomes more prominent. in a way,, there are no rules like the real world. it is a matter of "what you could do if you have freedom of choice" and for some people, all hell break loose.
so anyway, i dont know why i always name myself Lisa or Alisha. it is like a name that is plucked out of thin air and from long ago when i first had a PC and was microsoft comic chat, my nickname was Alisha. oh, i wonder how many people had done MSchat. it was like the coolest chat i have ever been. you take a character and conversations scrolls like a comic strip. you could have various facial expressions etc etc. it is now history but it was good.
i stumbled onto yahoo avatar last night and was initially choosing my face, style and accessory like in a normal fashion but took an instant liking to this particular one i've assembled.
this reminds me of the days when we used to play paper-cut-out dolls with detachable hats, shoes and dresses. mix-and-match just like this modern avatar. i shall create more styles later to show you. for now,,, Katcha!

much ado nothing

i had a rather unsual day on my birthday.
woke up at 3.35am and couldnt sleep more.
not that i didnt want to but i just couldn't.
the newspaper man came at 4.30am. i wonder how much margin he gains from dispatching newspaper. how much money does he earn and if it is sufficient for a reasonably good life.
cathy gave me a set of nailcare stuff, and a bottle of dead sea moisturizer. buffed my nails and they looked really neat and clean. read the papers and showered. and i was ready to go out at 7 in the morning. well, where can i go? i wasnt working that day. answered some questions at the "yahoo answers" website, hoping to earn my points for my first question. i want to ask "is loosing 35 to 50 strands of hair a day too much?" i have recently began to count the number of hair i loss after shampooing. averagely 35 strands. and reasonably 15 more till the end of the day. i dont think new hair grows at this rate. so, will i be having lesser or thiner hair generally?
i used to have hair so thick, every one has to comment. every hair dresser. and i remember trainee hairdressers would sweat and call out for their shi-fu to help. that thick. but not anymore now. it is averagely thick and i am thankful for it. i dont think one should complain about having thick hair cos one will appreciate having it when he is 50. crowning glory.
ok, so anyway, after i had my coffee and surfed yahoo, i bathed and lugged my 700 pieces of gold coins to the bank. i have decided to bank in my birthday present. boy, was it heavy. it was like carrying a 4kg bag of stones. the bank did not accept coin deposite on friday. they only do on tuesday and thursday. just my luck. no. i refused to accept this. lugged on and went to another bank. same rejection. gosh, i am perspiring like a condensing cold glass of water. not that i was worried or anything but under the sheer heat from walking 1 kilometre. ok, one last try at the 3rd bank. same thing but this time i decided to press on a little. i said "can you make an exception?" she went in for a whole 5 minutes and returned with a suggestion. leave it with them and they will count the coins and credit my bank at the end of the working day. of course i said thank you. ok, next, i walked into the chinese massage palour for a traditional chinese accupressure massage. boy oh boy, it was painfully good. some of my veins had old injuries and were achingly painful. most of my muscles are stiff and hard to the touch. the massue wonder how a person could live with such discomfort and this is not the first time i have been commented about this. the best part was the massage on my stomach. boy of boy, the pain shot right to my gastrics. pain like on a scale of one to ten, eight, kind of pain. why is it not painful normally? why are there no symptoms? why is it only painful when the stomach is being pressed on? i never did know about "wind" till now. so anyway, i was happy that i went for some detoxifying massage. i read that okinawa has the most centurians and they get their shiatsu massage weekly. in local context, i think it will be rather costly with massage prices here at $60. then i decided to go to the temple to pray. the chinese Kuan Ying temple at bugis. pray for good health and career for myself and family. world peace. on way home, shopped at bugis, no longer called seiyu but BHG and it is a lame name. its full name is "Be Here for Good things" gosh. it could only be the works of taiwan/china-chinese/japanese retail. in this case, i belive it is japanese. be here for good things. if it was local or european, the marcom team would have been fired. so anyway, i just bought a pair of earrings and a pair of stockings which i have to give away now, cos it looks bad on me. it is a very nice pair of striped stockings and i dont do justice to it. my calves are too big. so anyway, due to to massage and the 3-hr sleep i had the night before, i was terribly groggy and tired and took a nap in the afternoon. it was purely tiredness. woke up in the evening and went for dinner with val, bren, sis & tim at the steak house forrests at holland v. the food was ok only but we enjoyed the ambience. i dont normally spend $200 on dinner but this is only once in a while kind of dinner. val bought me deathly hallows and Opera mag which i used to love but had not read it for quite a while now.
the next day, i collected my phone from the service centre at wisma. my sony k800i is barely one year old and it has been serviced twice. the phone is draining the battery in a matter of hours even when on standby. had the phone back yesterday but it is still drinking my electricity (which is also $$) i always tell my husband he is always charging the phone and camera which he uses for work and i said the money he gets from his job should also cover the electricity that is being used for these equipment. you see, he works free lance and the pay is hourly rated. after petrol for the car and electricity money for the phone and camera that he needs to use every day, how much goes into his pocket? anyway, i am just making a point and not saying he has to do something about it. for the time being, the flexible work nature is good for us. anyway, back to my phone. the customer service girls are mostly philipinas and they are pretty and young, like 18 or 20. they are probably university educated or at least collage. i am just wondering say, ten years down the road, will we see many cross-marriages between our youths here and them. this is a social-economic culture and i feel that it is only natural to fall in love. so anyway, i will be going back to ask them to service my phone again or give me a new one.
went to help cousie anna choose her wedding gowns. she is really lucky to have so many flattering ones that suit her well. colour and style are complementing her. how sweet.
dinner at lavander hawker centre and headed home sweet home. my honey was waiting for me.
sunday, went for one more round of massage. yes, i want to treat my problem successively so that i can regain healthy body asap. did nothing much after that except having a can of organic clamp chowder soup which was blend for all its goodness.

出路

stupid people makes me angry

i was telling my colleague about the case i read in the forum where a man had an asthma attack while at a shopping mall with his wife. the inhaler he had was out and they were in a panic as he was turning pale and had difficulty breathing. they quickly ran into a pharmacy to purchase an inhaler but there was no pharmist on duty. the sales people at the store refused to sell the inhaler to him because he did not have a doctor's prescription with him and they cannot be responsible for selling him a drug that needs prescription. that man's breathing was turning laborious and every minute spent negotiating with the staff was wasted breath. in the end, they had to rush home for the inhaler he has at home, all the while risking his death.
the thing is that the couple were willing to sign a form or to write an indemity letter on the spot so as to relieve the store on any liability but the idea was still being declined.

my colleague argued that the staff are not wrong not selling the inhaler. she says what happens if after using it, the man dies.

i said, they were not taking any risk, i understand, but if the man is dying in front of you,
are you gonna just watch him die?

ok, let's say this man is your friend, your brother, your father, your neighbour,
will it be any different?
i bet you will risk your job to smash the glass and retrieve the inhaler if you have to.
of course i am being dramatic here but it is a possible scenerio.

singaporeans are know for their kiasuism and now i begin to understand the kaiseeism.

this reminds me of another case where a police officer refused to give aid to an injured motorist a few feet away from his police post because HE WAS ALONE and the standing order is that if you are left with one man, that one man cannot leave the post.
the passer-bys were pleading with him to assist but he could not step out.
i wonder if there was a fire at the post, will he have fled?
obviously you can tell me that is different as it is obvious danger,
but rendering timely first aid is also crucial!
it is not like asking you to leave your post to buy coffee.

走出去就有路

we are just so rigid to take a step.

Unspoilt

I knew about Dumbledore being gay before I knew he was going to be killed.

You see, I had the sixth book lying on my shelf for the longest time but didn't lift a finger to it until last week. Mainly because i was a little disappointed after book 2 and felt that Rowling was trying to let new readers catch up and was re-capping about year 1 & 2 of Harry's life at Hogwarts too much. This is a bore to those who have read immensely on the earlier releases before the rest of the world caught up. My interest took a dip so much so that I have not bought the last- Deathly Hallows yet.

As I made a resolution to read all the unread books in my possessions before I buy anymore books, I had to read the half blood prince somehow.

First half of the book was okay but i couldn't quite peel myself off to bed as i moved toward the back. I kept saying "ok, one more chapter, just one more" but i kept tempting myself to the next leaf and the next. Alas, I finished the book last night and refused to look at the clock so that my body don't register the time. (in times like this, i would fool my body to think that it has enough sleep). so anyway, half the time i winced everytime i passage across Dumbledore's affection for Harry or any affection for that matter. Because i had the revelation by Rowling that he was gay.

I wished I didnt know, for I began to read between the lines. That is prejudice. That is No good.

Please dont get me wrong, i have gay friends, both male gays and female ones and i love some of them more than any other. they are no different. in fact, they are more. not less.

But it still didnt stop me from reading too much into the lines and i begin to wonder if Harry is borderly gay. *sigh* some information is better left unknown.

But I was glad that at least my eyes were brimming with tears after he died.

Well, his greatness and nobleness is still,, noble.

Gay or not gay, he was great. His greatness, fairness, love transcended above his sextual orientation and my heart went out to those whose lives he touched.

Well, it is just a book you say. ya, it is.

But it made me realise that i am not judgemental against gays in a bad way although i had naturally dwelled more into the character.

I often make a lot of self-reflection, if you could access my thoughts live, i think it would be mind boggling. I asked myself why i was uncomfortable with Dumbledore being gay, since I readily accept gay in general.

I realised that more often than not, some gay people are quick to tell me about the juicy romp and they are more than happy to tell me the details. that would make me rather uncomfortable but i do not want to stop them at their tracks in case they think i have an issue with them being gay. It is not that really. you see, even if a straight person tells me the details of their sexlife, i will be uncomfortable. so, the matter is not about being gay, it is just that gay friends of mine tend to tell me more. get it?

barbapapa

Does this bring you any nostalgia?

It surely did for me. this only existed in my memory which I didn't access until last evening,

I saw a 2008 calander-diary with this. my gosh, the memory flooded in. the cartoon clips and all. I know very little about this prodcution but i think it is British. I should research a little into this later. all i could remember is that there is this Papa & Mama with their brood of children. their bodies are flexible & elastic, they could mould themselves into various shapes and machines and use this gift to save the day! I think they don't talk much, almost like only mummbling or gesturing. that's what i remember...

TCM

I went to the Chinese Physician yesterday for my second batch of Herbs.

The look of it makes me think of those Martial Drama Series where the Gongfu practitioner goes up to the mountains to "cai yao"- collect medicine, for a certain problem or illness, etc.

You know, the Singapore General Hospital has teamed with a group of Chinese Doctors from Beijing or Shanghai or generally, China and they have set up clinics at the hospital to complement Western Medical Practice with Traditional Chinese Medicine.

I wonder how it works out but I believe there are many properties of the Chinese medicine that are wholesome and we know but just a little of it.

Anyway, I like the fragrance of my packet of herb while brewing and although it taste bitter, it is bitter-sweet and not as bad as many modern people make it out to be. Just think Stout. I guess not many people I know likes Stout. Incidentally, I do. "Trained" by mom, I always say.

For the herb, you take 3 bowls of water, bring to a boil and let it simmer for about 30 mins till you get 1 bowl of the concoction left. Not a lot of work if you ask me. I asked YC if I should use a big bowl or a small bowl. she said up to me. she then said that it will be better to use a small bowl. good thing i asked why. she said, so that you dont have to drink a big bowl of the yucky bitter medicine, you can finish a smaller bowl quickly.

i see,,, that is her logic.

i have no qualms about having a bigger bowl and i think if i use a small bowl, it will all dry up too quickly.

So anyway, I am going back to the gynea for a final check later this afternoon and I will return to work tomorrow.

work.

I must appreciate my work cos it gives me the money for everything else.

but I must treat my work as secondary and treat myself primary.

You see, we have 24 hours a day.

let's break it down to blocks of 3.

8 hrs for Sleep (say for me, it will be 11.00pm to 7.00am) though i normally sleep later than 11.

8 hrs for Work ( 8.30 am to 5.30pm) That is 9 hrs in the office and please remember, the 1 hr lunch break is "YOUR TIME"

that leaves you the last block of 8 hrs, which is rightly yours.

1 of the hour is lunchtime, you should eat at your pace and not rush. (my bad habit was to rush and continue with my work, thinking that by doing so, i could finish more work and go home earlier)

1 of the hour is commuting time. i am lucky that i could spend about an hour odd to and from work. (if you need to spend more time on the road, perhaps you could read a book or listen to some music on your MP3, etc, or unwind. you know, just to make your time more quality)

1 hr in total as "Grooming"- you know, the usual, bathe, shampoo, styling and make-up.

5 hrs left.

exercise, TV, communicatng? on-line shopping (takes up more time than you'ld plan). socializing, read, knit? just kidding. meditate? prayer? catch-up with your family & friends? talk on the phone? visit someone? i mean, this is just me, i am free&easy. if you are with kids and more traditional obligations like got to do cooking etc, then, you may use "your time" for all these responsibilities.

the point is, we should always remember that we have "our time" too. and these minutes and hours are for us to allocate. this is something i always forget. i kept using "my time" for work and more work, which was endless and needless. 8 hrs is more than enough. if i have a problem, i ought to better look at how i priortize my work and to tell my boss to reallocate them.

if everyone else in my office is managing well, and i am the only person over-worked, the problem lies with me and i must learn to address it.

okay, so much so about this. if i have more stuff to blog about, you will know that i have more time! *smiles*

Tribute to my coolest EXILIM

Time to pay tribute to my camera.
It is not working very well after four good years.
I dont think they retail its battery anymore, the battery is refusing to be charged.
Most of the pictures on this blog is taken with this ultra sleek camera.
After 4 years, 3.2 mega pixel is dated.
Some mobile phones now matches or exceeds this.
I love it for its compactness, for its slimness and it fits into all my small bags to be carried with me every day.
I prided it because I always whipped it out everywhere I went. I took "every day" photos, seemingly insignificant events as it was so small I carried it with me every day.
That was before phones had high res cameras built-in.
If it was still retailing, I would buy it again. (!) yes, you can count on it.
I dont care that there is no optical zoom. i really dont.

You know, I "re-bought" the same model of hairdryer just before it went out of production.
That was after 3 or 4 years when the first one broke down and I was very lucky to have bought the remaining stock that they were clearing. I should have bought one more to keep, but I guess electrical items may not work if kept unused for long. I am keeping my fingers crossed on the one i'm still using because it passed 6 years and counting. Gosh i am crazy. before you think i am crazy, i must justify that it has this big, round thingy where you could "volumize" your hair. It works like a big hairbrush and for me, it is practical cos i dont comb my hair. (!) ya, so there goes my secret.

Back to my Casio.

It was the coolest when it was first in the market.
I am a sucker for all things slim, besides my figure.
I have a "film watch" and coincidentally, it is a Casio.
hummm, to think about it now, it may not be coincidence.
Maybe Casio, like me, has a fetish for all things slim.
The watch got its name "film" not for any visual or filming feature but becase it is slim like an un-rolled film. dont laugh, it is not lame. I am wearing it for nine years and still counting!
but two months back, the face broke. cracked. it was lined across the face and looked bad.
the watch was very worn and dirty-looking but i love it. I should have taken a picture of my beloved watch... Now that it returned after servicing, with a new glass face and new straps, it looks and feel VERY different. To be fair, i must say that the feeling is GONE.
I hesitated before i threw the pack that contained the old straps.
That night, i decided to put the old strap back but my husband had emptied the waste!
I dont think I could go dig it from the rubbish chute but it sure crossed my mind.
oh gosh, i had to LET GO.
I think i am mad.
I honestly miss my watch.

Playing "House"

When we were young we always play House.

I will always be the "baby", my cousin yann will always be the father and the rest will be teacher, student, mother, bus driver and groocery man.

I take my hats off to full-time housewives or homemakers as some my like to call themselves.

for me, it is pathatic to be waiting for your husband to return home, for your children to return home and to wait on them. pathatic is the wrong word to use because this is a great sacrifice and an act of spousal and motherly love which is one great love and i should not put it at that level but it was how i felt.

Enough about eating home cooked food for all its goodness.

I realise the good effects of home-made food and it is good. the only thing i could not get used to is that it is full-time work. for the 2 weeks i stayed at home, a typical day would be morning breakfast bread and butter with my hot coffee and my ever favourite The Straits Times. Then it is out to the market for some ribs and spices, veggies and eggs. then come the thawing, peeling, shelling, soaking, cutting, and this is just preparation! take a break, dare skip lunch. come 4pm, start boiling soup-of-the-night. start at 3 if you want a really good soup in all its glory. After the cooking, there is the washing! and the packing off utensils back to the racks so as not to clutter the drying rack. Not forgetting the mopping of floors to rid any grease. Floors in pural cos it includes the kitchen and living room as my flat is small.

I am just wondering if ever a housewife cooks and does so much and all the husband does is to either gobble the food or worse, critise the cooking. that will be just sad.

after some thinking, i think it is cheaper to eat out. cos there is the electricity for the stoves and cookers, plus the water bill for all the washing and cleaning.

Still, the goodness of home-cooked food for all its nutrients, less monosodium carbonate, lard and salt.

You know, the food at most of our foodcourts are souless nowadays.

soul-less, cooked without passion, without pride, without love, without soul.

the ingredients are mass produced, the cooking is systematic like factory-line and most of the time, i am left thirsty after eating.

gone are the days where we had the street fare and wholesome dishes.

I hope i can hang on to cooking, at least on the weekends and at least for myself.

Brendan for one always tells me it is too much work to cook, but for now, he leaves it to me.

The good thing is that my soups are good!

Of course they are, they are with so much ingredients and cooked in clay pot over hours.

So far, I only know of the few flavours- Sichuan with tomatoe, potatoe & carrots, ground nuts & garlic, etc. all with good pork ribs. Herbal chicken soup. Corn in clobs.

I learnt stir fry choy sim / spinnach with mushroom, black fungus, beancurd skin, with regular onion & garlic. Pig trotter in vinegar & ginger. best!

The end. this is the end of what i know to cook! help! what else?!

Birthday came early

For those of you who have just logged in, you will probably feel that i am having verbal diahorrea, suddenly having a flood of entries. well, enjoy it while it lasts cos i am contemplating of ceasing blogging. honestly, i am a very private person and the initial intention of having this blog was for me to be my real self, like talking to the world of strangers out there whom will not judge me. where i can be melacholic and express my angst and psycho thoughts, be idealistic. the truth be told, i do not let myself into people's heart.

i have a problem. i could love and accept most people but i kind of do not allow them to really know me. I give but i do not receive. why? why oh why? i have so much insecurities, i think i that if people really know me, will soon discover that i am stupid. how warpped can this be. look at me, i am good at so many things but i keep picking on myself on my weaknesses. i am self-critical and i am afraid people will be like this. this is my problem and i will have to deal with it in my own terms. i thought about ceasing because more people are reading and they are caring. how can this be bad? i dont know.

so, anyway, we'll see about it.

Birthday came early.

Like i told you before, every year, i break the piggy bank and count the gold nuggets which will be the money for my birthday.

this year, i have yet to do the counting cos it is only the beginning of november and my BD is 3 weeks away. but i have been toying with the idea of getting a lap top for a while and finally get into action. First, thanks to Val for telling me about the flexi max-on-line scheme which is just brilliant for me. I just pay $7.50 for 3 days broadband connection and the rest of the time, i could check-in to my hotmail and Brendan to his yahoo for free. the main draw was that Bren could now do the CPF e-submission for his friend's business at home. I hated it when he had to borrow my office's PC because my conscience says it is wrong. And i hated it cos he was doing for a friend and he is always so damn helpful at a cost and i love-hate him for that. i keep telling him, if your friend runs a business, he jolly well invest in infrastructure like PC and stuff cos these are the basics of a buiness. then he would counter me and tell me that the friend's business is a traditional hands-on one and it is barely making money and has no extra for infrastructure like PCs. we will have a short arguement and i will relent and let him use the PC and feel very uncomfortable about it. so now, it is good that he can help his friend and my conscience is crystal clear and i can love him for that. hahah.

Conscience is a very funny thing, it will haunt and keep you in jail if you dont answer its calling.

So anyway, i decided to buy this lap top mainly because of that and also for myself.

like i told Val, i am a laggard when it comes to IT. i only know the few things like microsoft office and dabble a little here and there but i am never the first-in-line to own the latest gadgets like the best lap tops or digital cameras. I am also quite a sucker, like i am biaised with Dell and i just liked its direct sales strategy where i can order it on the phone, choose the upgrades and have it delivered to my door. Taa-daa! it is like Santa leaves you your present at your door. Santa-Dell.

ok, back to my BD. this lap top will not count as my BD present because i wanted it more for my husband. so it doesn't count. right?

Plus, i have not opened my piggy bank and i am not using it to pay for the lap top.

so we have to wait and see if i have any urge to get myself a real present.

in all tradition, i have always taken leave from work on my BD.

i feel that i should just go enjoy the day.

this year, i hope to have dinner together with Val at the Italian restaurant at Holland V. with brendan of course, the three of us. if PW was in town will be good too. and my sis, i got to ask if she's free.

akan datang... coming to a theatre near you.

Sneak-out

Last Sunday, i sneaked out of the house for a break as i was so bored of being at home for a week. I need the shallow things, i need fashion, i need to see people, i need to spend money, i just needed a walk but not in the park. please dont tell me that.

Boy, was i tired.

My body was just recovering and it probably needed more rest that i realised.

I just did window shopping from Isetan Lido, across to Tangs and then to Takashimaya and I was dead tired. I realised there was a strain in one of the veins on my thigh and it was probably due to my miscarriage. so i walked very slowly, like limping. You probably think that i must be crazy and for those who know me will know that i am.

I made an about turn and headed back home after reaching Taka.

Firstly, i was really tiring out and secondly, look at the madness, look at the crowd!

If you can count, i think there probably are thousands of people, and this is just the podium,

at the square. dont even look at the cashiers.

I can never be like these people, shopping like this is a major turn-off. puts me off right away.

then again, i needed to see the hustling and buzzling alive. i am a city folk and i will always need the city to feed me some energy and zest. this is me.

I shopped for a birthday present for sis but i was not satisfied with any.

I wanted to buy her a Coach bag but it was $945. wow, that is like one thousand dollar$.

hummm,,, that got to wait a while.

I would love to splurge on something like that. Expensive bags and diamond earrings.

I mean, there are people buying them like ordinary stuff, day in, day out. and for me, it would be some quality thing that i would use for some years and that is reasonable, wouldnt it be?

So, with a new mindset, i went to check out all the expensive stuff i wanna buy. the Loewe bags and diamonds at the cheaper joints like SK jewllery.

One day i am going to buy some of them.

and i wanna buy them for my sis, my cousins and my friends.

that will make me very happy.

well, if i can satisfy myself in body, mind and soul, i should also allow myself to be satisfied with material. this is no different.

The ‘M” word.

At first, I avoided using the word. I would rather give a lengthy description like
“the body voluntarily expels the tissue from the uterus”
which is what the doctor said in medical term.

In layman term, the word is “miscarriage”.

I thought I shouldn’t give that word such power over me. It is no big deal I said.
Aunt Ai Ling had a miscarriage, aunt Elsie also, my mom too, when she overstrained at work some twenty years ago. Giles’ wife-Alice, and more recently, Brendan’s brother’s wife, plus my cousin-in-law- Jessica, all had gone through the unfortunate experience.
And these are only the people I know.
But I soon realize that by refusing to acknowledge the word, I was in denial and was not coming to term with it.

I had a miscarriage two weeks ago on a Saturday night, past eleven to midnight.
I wonder why didn’t the doctor pre-empt me about the pain and what to expect.
The cramps came and lasted 3 hours which I eventually relented and went to the hospital after enduring the last hour of pain and breaking in cold sweat.
Why did the doctor say to expect just a week of light bleeding and did not say anything about the “tissue”, as they term it, being expelled in a chunk.

I was given two weeks leave to be resting at home.

In western medicine, you only need to rest, eat a balanced meal. There is no such thing as no drinking of plain water or chilled water for that matter.

I went to the Chinese “Sin-say” (physician) for treatment with the TCM way.
Sin-say said that the womb was weak, hence embryo were not likely to flourish, plus the “Qi” (breath) was weak and circulation poor. He prescribed some herbs for brewing and I asked if he will see me on a monthly basis to help restore my health.
He is an old man and I could sense his compassion when he said, -- “Sure, come back, take care, and in future, this will not happen.”

My friends were appalled that I was drinking plain water and that I wasn’t putting on long pants and sweaters. They were appalled that I washed my hair and did the dishes. They were appalled that I was going back to work. They were sorry I went to do marketing and had to cook for myself cos I had no help. I wasn’t sorry for myself. I could do it on my own, I don’t see the fuss except there was a little strain walking back with the heavy grocery, but I am fine. I have never been someone who will think that I should lay back and be taken care of. I am harden and do not think that it is bad.

Why are you doing this? – Val asked me when I told her I will just go back to work for a couple of hours 3 times a week.

Ya, why?

I did a lot of refection with the new-found time I have confined at home.

This is a big wake-up call.

I cried watching the movie “Click” on HBO

You wonder why, it was a comedy isn’t it?

Adam Sandler was as an executive architect, working long hours, always putting off dates for his children, holidays for his family and was always aiming for the next promotion, or, to complete the next project and yet another promotion. His priority was to “get there” (get to the top of the corporate ladder) so that he can then take things at a slower pace and have time and money for his family, which is his love.

On his birthday, he was presented with a Universal Remote Control that could let him have control of time. He could pause a scene, forward or rewind. He could set time in auto-pilot mode where he could just live through his life without the mental focus or being mentally present. This way, he was able to reach his corporate goals.

But time flew by and before he realized, he was old. Like 60 yrs old.

His children had grown up and he has become a stranger, his wife divorced him as he was emotionally absent most of the time, and he was most regretful that his father passed on and he wasn’t there.

He had a heart attack at his son’s wedding and he was at the hospital, deathbed. His son visited him and told him that he would cancel his honeymoon as there was some business meeting that came up which he had to take care. The son repeated what was drilled upon him, “Business comes first”.

“Business comes first, dad” he said to him while leaving the room.

No, no no., Adam tried to say. No, son, no.

But the son couldn’t hear him under all the breathing tubes.

He was desperate to correct the son. He pulled off all the tubes on him, ran out of the building under the pouring rain and risking his last breath, called out to the son.
Desperately he called out to him.

“Family first,,,,, family first”….

Of course this is drama but it drummed home to me that I should never loose sight of what is important in my life.
The regret of putting off little things that eventually hit back on me. The regret of neglecting my health in my process of pushing myself to the limit.
Prolonged neglect and the ignorance of thinking I was invincible. Thinking work comes first and letting sloth take over. Sloth in taking care of my health. Knowing what to do but succumbing to laziness and taking myself out or allowing myself to be talked-out, is plain laziness.

I was bitter that I had so much fear in me and I was not living my life as magnificently as I know I could. I was not free.

For one ounce of insecurity I had, I compensated with one pound of work.
I prided myself with my work achievements, the sales, the figures and results.

What was I doing?

Great job.

But it does not have to be at the expense of my health or of my family.

I had lost the balance and the fall was painful.

So now, I learn.

I learn about my own demons. My fear, my insecurities, the pretence of strength when it was brute. The camouflage of satisfaction. I learn about the depth of my unhealthy-tolerance, the weakness of my mind to be unwisely persuaded. I learn about the long term effects of relenting to the ease of things, to short-cuts.

There is no use crying over spilt milk. I can only be grateful that I learnt now.

Like Adam, the second chance is now.

No Babe.

I am very sad that my pregnancy did not develop further.

The doctor said there was no embryo. there was only a sac and there was no embryo inside.

So for now, my body will automatically discharge whatever little cells that were formed in the past few weeks.

I did not have exceptionally high expectations with this episode but it was surely heart-breaking. I read that it is fairly common and many women go on to have successful pregnancies later on. whatever it is, I just have to take the good, the bad, with a good attitude.

Nonetheless, everyone is encouraging. you know,, take care of your body now and try again, etc.

Ya, i know. ok. dont worry, i am accepting what i cannot control.

my cousin said that i should take heart to know that nature is like this, cells that are not so good to begin with will not develop.

ok, i will take heart to it.

so ladies & gentlemen, this is life.

Broke Back Stools

I wanted to title this entry as "love is in the air" but i thought it is too cheesy.

I love it when i could feel & see the "love" in the air.

the energy is dense enough for me to feel it literally.

i was at a BBQ dinner at a client's place. both my boss and i were invited.

when we got there, many people were already having second or third helpings and they were all relaxed and cool. the part i liked most was that i could feel the friendship they had for each other. you know, just plainly joking and chatting and making each other at home with food and drinks. i dont know why but i could feel that these people truly liked each other.

the whole relation was a business one, our client invited a few vendors for BBQ.

but it was more of a friendly gathering rather than a corporate one.

for i learnt, these people has known each other for over 30 yrs, mostly over 10 yrs.

i am among the new-kid-on-the-block and i belong with just a handful of new buyers who are also new at their jobs. so in a way, there is the 3rd generation, which is us.

it was all nice and i really liked it.

my HQ office CEO cooked a few dishes and brought to the party.

that includes the delicious chilli crab, which she explained to us the lengthy procedure of making the paste. i said we only know to eat. haha.

not forgetting her ever famous fish ball soup and the curry chicken that i didnt taste.

i guess any dish made with love is really impactful. simple but impressionable.

no wonder there's a saying "to win a man's heart is through his stomach" (appetite)

i always tell my husband, when we move to a bigger flat, i am going to cook and bake.

i wish for the day to come.

i was too excited to really eat. i only had bee hoon, one piece of crab and one stick of lamp.

excited because i was too conscious! all eyes was on me and some of the people joked that they thought i was my boss' phillipino girlfriend. (he is known to have many girlfriends and only likes phillipinos)

so anyway, i was a LOUSY conversationalist, if i ever did talk at all.

i sat beside a few people and we kept quiet the whole time.

i am terrible!

i am a bimbo!

terrible. all i did was to answer politely and nothing else. smile a bit. terrible.

there was this lady, she is the hairdresser of my CEO and she always joins the parties.

she is so bubbly and cheerful, joked and laughed a lot. heartily.

i wished i could be lighthearted too.

i bought a book that says "92 ways to make small talks" and i have not gone through 10pages.

terrible.

painfully shy.

"how could it be?" you think

i don't know.

oh, ok, broke-back stools.

you see those red stools in the picture above?

five people fell off their bumps and landed on the floor.

five or more almost did.

we joked that those were not "toyogo" brand, hence not hardy.

it was a night of laughter, though i thought it is not funny really, to fall off the seat. it could be dangerous.

so anyway, i learnt that beyond the surface of business and work,

what made the business successful is the friendship-engine that generates helpfulness, co-operation, loyalty and love that keep the business going fine.

i am glad and honoured to be in the circle and i sure think i've earned it!

=)

The Profundity I Observed From Sudoku

i know the craze has fizzled out for most who were once hooked on Sudoku and i have only just begun.

i thought the "beginner" level was easy, boy was i wrong!

i gave up on the second puzzle and skipped to the third.

but i realised that i will get nowhere if i continue with my strategy which was not useful.

so i read the tips given in front.

i saw the tips the first instance, but i thought i could do it on my own since there is no rule with this game.

nonetheless, the tips helpped a lot. the one point i have learnt which was most useful is that "there is no need to guess". that means each time you pencil your answer into the cube, it should be a "sure" answer. you can always derive the sure answer by scanning, logic, elimination & deduction. if the answer has not been clear, move to other cubes and come back to it later.

sometimes, the simpliest pointer could be the one that makes the whole difference.

i think this strategy is profound.

sometimes, we attempt too many things at one time, and the more "uncertain" things we put into our lives, the more we are doom for error. it could get so confusing that you have to back-track to undo some actions or change them. you will soon realise that one back-track change must lead to another as the whole picture is interlinked.

on the other hand, if you had put in a "sure" action, meaning, you are firm with your decision and you will live with it, the less back-tracking you have to do.

of course there will be times you may make a wrong decision, give a wrong answer due to wrong assessment and deduced wrongly because of lack of information or lack of check-points,, it is fine. it is just an experience. your life is an experience.

weekend at Hat Yai

Hat Yai to me, feels like Malaysia,, the buildings, streets and shopping malls are similar.
Prices are relatively cheaper.
S$100 = Thai Baht $2,270
T-shirts on the street cost $100-200baht (S$4.40 to $8.80)
good quality T-shirts at shopping malls cost around S$12.70
Seafood meal / sharks fin / crab / etc S$70 for 4 pax

I had spent only $500 on shopping.
but i always feel that i end up with very little things.

Perhaps it's because 70% of the things i buy are for others.
i will always want to buy for my cousins, my sis and my freind's children.

This time, i make a point to buy more stuff for myself.

example:
i bought 6 boxes of disney biscuits and intend to keep 3.
2 bottles of wrigley's chewing gum, 1 for myself, the other,, either my sis or val.
loomp-chiam-pass, see who gets it. (i think whoever comes to my place earlier will get it)

so anyway, here are some presents:-

I had McDonald's happy meal to get this hello-kitty toy for cousin hong jing,
bought an addidas a football jersey for bing lun & lip gloss kit for zhi ting.

Bought a furry-beady pair of slippers for myself,
2 dainty looking purses for myself and sis.
i like the design BUT there is an "anna sui" plate on it,,,, i am not gonna carry it!
i always say, don't use counterfeit stuff, don't!
the thing is,,, there isn't such a design or purse from anna sui!
so, i really dont know what is happening. i should get a nice brooch to pin over the tag.

Bra, glorious bra. my colleagues insisted i buy the maternity bras which they claim is "dirt cheap" and is selling like 5 times more back home.
anyway, i bought a few new bras cos the ones i have are getting small!

bought Enfant panties for joo joo
some sports bra for charmaine
2 mickey tog bags for chrystal & marilyn each
some T-shirts for my colleagues
and! shampoo for myself
not forgetting numerous body butter, face mask & body wash.

Hat Yai (pictures)

Hat Yai (1)

Hat Yai (2)

Positive

Dear Friends & Family,

We are expecting a baby!

Yes! we are very happy. Thank you.

Do I sound happy? I am but it is not written all over my face.

You see, i am a little worried, not to mention quite tired sometimes in the afternoon as well as feeling sleepy rather early in the night. i normally sleep at midnight but i am now sleepy at 8 or 9...

I had gone to the gynea for a check last week but the embryo did not show in the scan.

Doctor said that this is probably because i am only 4 weeks pregnant (not 6 weeks as i thought) and that it is normal that the scan will not show much until 2 more weeks. he said i should not be too concern, and i am trying not to.

so, in the meantime, i am just keeping myself busy with other stuff so that i will not let my thoughts think of unnecessary things. one must always focus on what one wants and not what one doesn't want.

ok, so i am off to "yatai" (Hup Chye) this weekend. i dont quite know how to spell the town,, it is a small town in Thailand. my colleagues and i had booked the air tickets 3 months back and this will be the first visit for 3 of us. jonathan has been there countless times and he will be our tour guide. he told us it is a shopping haven and we will hold him to it.

so, ladies and gentlemen, my life is never gonna be the same again!

cheers!

Phuket

Phuket

Adventure of the White Otah

sometimes, i am amazed by how some seemingly common information is not common knowledge afterall.

let me explain.


Last week, i was quite excited that i came across a stall at the hawker selling the plain, white version of the usual spicy, orange Otah.

I exclaimed to the auntie running the stall : "Oh! Auntie! 你有白色的 Otah!"

(Oh! Auntie, you have plain whilte Otah!")

she looked at me quizzed but i was too excited to say anything else.

i happily bought 2 and wolffed them down for old times' sake.

it has been at least 10 years since i ate a plain otah and the memory of its taste is better than the real thing.

they were not as nice or tasty as the spicy ones that are more popular.

maybe that's why the plain ones are less produced.

i thought i was silly enough until i told val about the white otah and she never even knew it existed.

1 in 10 people i surveyed didn't know there is the plain otah.

okay. before you say anything, i got to tell you about the "Bra Extension"

val & i went to the market and she visited the Bra stall to get a Bra Extension Band for her mommy.


bra extension band??


i have never heard of such a thing.


she explained, it is for people whose body torso are quite big and need to extend the circumference of the bra so that it will not be too tight.


!!!??


i asked the auntie at the stall

"auntie, 这个东西已经卖了很久吗?"
(means: auntie, has this product been on sale a long time?")


the auntie didnt quite know how to answer but she said the product has been around for a long time. (probably as long as the existence of the Bra?)



4 in 10 people i surveyed didn't know the existence of a bra extension band.

so what does this means?


nothing serious obviously, but what im trying to say is that we could never take for granted what we thought is commonly known and expect that everyone would know about it.


we should always communicate, communicate and communicate.


the above is just a case of some minor daily-life normality and we already are not having common knowledge,, what more about more complicated things like environment, politics, emotions, work, etc.

don't you think so?